Lucky One

I'm getting married.

Those three words amaze me. If it were not for the ring on my finger and the incredible love in my heart it might be impossible for me to believe.

I am someone who has hoped and prayed for the gift of marriage for almost as long as I can remember. I faithfully and carefully guarded my heart believing that love would come on my approximate timetable. I am someone who went to, and watched countless unions and weddings of friends and started to feel left behind. I am someone who had my heart broken. I am someone who lost herself, spiraled out and hit bottom. I am someone who was once so bitter, angry and depressed I thought love would never find me.

And I'm getting married!

In a 10 year period of trying to find myself, and sometimes losing track of my faith I became so beat up I almost stopped trying to seek Him first. And then, after years of trying to write and not having a voice, words quite suddenly came back to me. I started writing a blog. I aired out my secrets and burdens and stopped letting them have so much power. And as I sorted through the experiences, hurts and feelings from my past, I turned to God's word to help me articulate my heart. And when I reached for God's word, He grabbed hold of my heart, and gave me peace. And then I met someone.

In the months, now years that have followed since meeting that someone, MY someone, it has been easy to be distracted. Falling in love does that - it kind of takes over. I fell in love fast and I have found myself in a whole new kind of all-consuming tailspin. No longer depressed, I got caught in a stunning wave of personal happiness. But I admit to getting carried away by Eros, or romantic love and not spending enough time working on my foundational relationship with my heavenly Father. I have work to do there!

He has always remained part of my life. He was there in the early days, after a date, or when I was trying so hard to understand why men are so crazy sometimes. He was there when I fell in love, and when worried that it might be too hard trying to make an inter-faith relationship work. He reminded me of my personal strength, and the strength of some incredible women I have known in the church who have loved the Lord and loved their husbands despite not sharing the same beliefs with them. He assured me over and over that THIS love, THIS man, was the one I would need. He was there when that man, the one I never expected to find, got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. HE was there in the moments that followed when I prayed with my new fiance over our marriage and life together. HE was there. HE is always there.

"His power abounds when a heart seeks His will over it's own."

My plan for the man I would marry was very different than the plan God has been laying out. It is harder. It is less popular with some of my Christian friends. It changes how my future will look. But I believe it is God's will. So, since this path will be different than the one I planned, it's a good thing God has been preparing me for a more challenging course all along.

I have a new love I searched a lifetime for, and an enduring love that has always known me. It's overwhelming and brilliant, more than I ever expected! There is a whole new life that awaits me!

I'm getting married!

Isaiah 30:18 MSG
But God’s not finished. He’s waiting around to be gracious to you.
    He’s gathering strength to show mercy to you.
God takes the time to do everything right—everything.
    Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.

The Day Before You

L